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Amusing OB fun poke from TES Forums

Hazelnut

Erudite
Joined
Dec 17, 2002
Messages
1,490
Location
UK
I thought this pointed out some of the more ridiculous aspects of Oblivion in an amusing way so I decided to share it...

Here be some inneresting socio-a-logikal historical facts:

1. Despite its feudal appearance, Cyrodil long ago adopted communism, often you will find that the beggars on the street have more money in their pocket than the Count. I think they take turns at who gets to be Count this year. The guilds of the land freely share their items, just like a true commune should.

2. Watch what you bring to the border. Spoons and Yarn are highly illegal items to import into the country, Smugglers fill their caves with their items, ready to unleash on the black market.

3. Jewels are so plentiful in this land, that a 20 carat diamond is worth literally... 20 carrots.

4. Cyrodil is now a land of peace, but it was not always so, centuries ago there were 20 times more forts than there were cities! Even now the land is so peaceful, that the number of abandoned forts actually outnumbers the amount of guards.

5. The number one occupation in the country is Banditry. There are more bandits per square kilometre than there are people with regular 9-5 jobs. Not surprising really, since banditry is so profitable they are able to afford the rarest of armours.

6. Education has been banned for the peasantry, after the unfortunate tale of a class levelling up in Geography and Maths, and the school hamster turned into a ravaging demon.

7. The people of Cyrodil are famously lazy, even when faced with an invasion of demons, the warriors of the land would rather solve rat problems, and leave the world saving to escaped prisoners.

8. The is a centuries old war between Horses and the Wild. The wildlife resents the fact that horses have allowed themselves to be tamed by humans. Even today, when faced with being stabbed in the back, a wolf will continue to try and kill its ancient foe, the Painted Horse.

9. Piratry is now more common than Fisherman boats, due to the fact that due to overfishing, the lakes and seas of Cyrodil have been completely depopulated of life. Fish is now a rare delicacy.

10. The introduction of travelling minstrils along the roads has severely decreased fatalities to the wild, thanks to their psychic danger sense abilities, and ability to start playing an urgent song when there is something dangerous attacking.

From http://www.elderscrolls.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=369913

It could have been such a good & intelligent game with a little more effort. (and the desire to do so) I do wonder why so much effort was put into making it look so realistic but not act realistic in such simple ways. :roll:

It's still proving to be a fun game for me, but I've not played much yet. Just wish it was more akin to Dr Strangelove than a Jackie Chan movie. :wink:

H.
 

Hazelnut

Erudite
Joined
Dec 17, 2002
Messages
1,490
Location
UK
Oh, I think I just found my answer:

Here's why Oblivion is better than NWN, IWD, IWD2, BG, BG2, etc.

Because those games were way too difficult to play. They were so complex that the average person just got fed up with them, and they ended up collecting dust. I admit that it can be kind of fun figuring out a game, but it can also be very annoying. Those games were not mainstream at all because the average person couldn't just pick them up and start playing them. Learning those games is like learning a technical skill, and most people don't want to put that much effort into learning a video game.

On the other hand, Oblivion is relatively easy to learn and play. You don't constantly get lost in the game world (thanks to the map markers). And Oblivion is extremely well made and just plain fun. And it still offers a lot of depth.

Again from the ESF.... :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Fucking retard! I mean, come on, IWD complicated??? WTF?
 

Andyman Messiah

Mr. Ed-ucated
Joined
Jan 27, 2004
Messages
9,933
Location
Narnia
Hey, hear the guy out. Those games were WAY too difficult to play. You have to respect that. Not everyone went to school.
 

Elwro

Arcane
Joined
Dec 29, 2002
Messages
11,747
Location
Krakow, Poland
Divinity: Original Sin Wasteland 2
"6. Education has been banned for the peasantry, after the unfortunate tale of a class levelling up in Geography and Maths, and the school hamster turned into a ravaging demon."
:D
 

Rat Keeng

Liturgist
Joined
Oct 22, 2002
Messages
869
The guy sounding like an idiot aside, he's absolutely right. It's somewhat terrifying that people will spend hundreds of hours killing stuff and gathering loot and money, but taking a few hours to learn a game's rules system is teh hard.

HRH said:
Fate and destiny are proven facts in this wonderful land. If someone has an important task left to fulfill, the universe will simply not let them die.
Hah! :)
 

Section8

Cipher
Joined
Oct 23, 2002
Messages
4,321
Location
Wardenclyffe
Hehe. Reminds me of the Supervillain list that got posted here a while back. It's a real shame that what should be harmless nitpickery in the name of fun actually reflects some fairly major failings in verisimilitude..

Here's why Oblivion is better than NWN, IWD, IWD2, BG, BG2, etc.

Hah. I love the fact that he found one of them way too difficult, and decided to plug away at the other 5 or so that have practically identical core gameplay. I wonder if he enjoyed Planescape Torment? ;)
 

obediah

Erudite
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
5,051
bryce777 said:
I wish I could wrap all the stupid people of the world in sheets of burning plastic.

Ack, the smell. Oh wait, you're chosing? I guess it's probably - Ack, the burning. :)
 

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